I relapsed. I was doing so well on my journey to become a strong independent woman who was ok with love taking its dear old sweet time finding me. I had just made it to the point where I knew my value and knew that settling was not an option when it came to my happiness. I wanted that for myself so badly and knew that once I accepted myself for who I was, love would find me because I had to love myself first. But then it happened.
My ex has been persistent for the last year in trying to “win” me back. He had told me he was a changed man and would not treat me how he did for six years. Yeah, I know, people do not change that much. But maybe I wanted to believe that the man I loved for so long in my life had finally realized what he was doing and was on his way to becoming the man I knew he could be. Hindsight is always 20/20 and I finally realize that he will never be the man I need because, well he just doesn’t want to be. I was hoping rather than seeing the reality for our entire relationship.
With all that said, I took the bait about three months ago and decided to give it one last shot; everything seemed promising…until it wasn’t. We went on three official dates in three months. Really trying to win me back right? I was ignoring what I already knew because all of our time spent together felt the same, it was COMFORTABLE. After that third date I was given an ultimatum that I needed to decide to be all in or move on, and I finally decided to give an ultimatum myself. It wasn’t much to ask just some growing up on his part was needed, but he couldn’t do it. Therefore I finally found the courage to tell him and myself, “You are not the man for me and I must move on.”
This was a big step for me and I was miserable for a while and my friends can attest to that. A month has gone by and I feel stronger than ever regarding my value and the type of man I want as a companion. I know I have said that before, but this time I mean it. If I fall backwards I finally have some amazing friends who will catch me before I have to take the step back on my own to catch myself.
So to this new step I say… Bring on the dating Groupons and Living Social relationship deals because LA is WAY too expensive without a little help 😉
Until next time!