Get your Mingle on

So, you have moved to a new city. Or maybe, you have grown out of your friendships and are looking to meet new people. Everyone has been there at some point in their life where you need an outlet to find like-minded individuals with whom you enjoy spending time. However, when in cities like Los Angeles, there is always a struggle to find the right place and time, but at a price where you aren’t going to have to dip into the vacation fund you have been saving up all year.

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Well, I am here to tell you White Oak premium vodka has your solution. With the launch of their product, the company will be hosting bi-monthly complimentary pourings with the first one in April held at Coco Laurent in Downtown Los Angeles from 5-7pm on the 24th. If you cannot make it before then, there will be happy hour pricing from 7-8pm.

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How can you turn this event down? I attended their kick-off event last Thursday, and it definitely lived up the brand’s mantra “This is Living.” It was easy to mingle on the patio with the young professional attendees. The chic location radiated sophistication and class providing the most appropriate setting to celebrate this one –of-a-kind product.

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Don’t miss the next pouring, Thursday, April 24th at Coco Laurent located at 707 S. Grand Ave. Los Angeles, CA 90017 from 5-8pm.

#Thisisliving

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One Dating Cliche you should NOT Listen to

You know that saying “if you stop looking for love it will find you”? In my personal opinion, this one statement is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. If you believe this, you should probably throw away the extensive library of self-help books you own. There is no way a human you desire to date is just going to fall in your lap. If you are extremely lucky and timing is on your side you may be part of the 5% that happens to actually bump in to a stranger and have a happily ever after. But, for the rest of us, it is intentional life decisions regarding who, what and where we are that may result in meeting the man or woman of our dreams.

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First, it is physically impossible to not-look at someone you are attracted to and not think of them as date-able or imagine a relationship with them. When I am out with friends, if we see an attractive man approaching, the first thing we discuss is whether or not that individual is our type. It is against human nature to not look for love or a mate.

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If people stopped looking for love then there wouldn’t be OkCupid, Tinder, Match.com, eHarmony apps and websites. There also wouldn’t be Matchmaking services, Speed Dating or the newest addition to the dating world Grouper. According to a report released by Marketdata Enterprises, the dating services industry is worth more the 2.14 BILLION dollars. Logistically, if someone were to stop searching for their soul mate, someone else will find them because everyone else will be spending the time and money to sift through the available individuals.

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If you like Tinder, swipe away. If eHarmony is more your style, leave it to the quizzes. The ability to meet new people, both romantically and for friendship, is the hardest it has ever been due to technology, traffic and our tough economy. So the next time you feel guilty for trying one of these ways to meet your match, don’t. It is more important to be self-aware of you your situation and to not become obsessed with finding someone. Everyone deserves to love and to be loved. So….seek and you shall find.

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Single Girl’s New Year’s Eve Struggle

All we want is to get all dressed up, hangout with a good group of friends,  get kissed at midnight by a nice guy who is nice to look at, and bring  in the New Year – Is that too much to ask?

The internal struggle of a single girl trying to decide her New Year’s Eve plans are real and the anxiety is high. As New Year’s Eve approaches we have definitely not committed to anything and must weigh all of our invite options. The final outcome of the night will definitely be a game time decision. We obviously want to be invited to as many events as possible that way we can cover our bases and have different types of events to choose from. However, in the end, the plethora of choices only makes it harder for us single gals, especially because each type of night has their pros and cons:

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Best Wifed-Up Friends– You are always invited to the events by this group of friends and you know you will have a good time because honestly they are your BEST friends. The only problem is you are always the third, fifth, eighth, eleventh wheel – you get the picture. They will never exclude you, but let’s be honest, it is a different vibe on holidays such as New Years. They are romantic and magical and I know if I were them I would probably spend a majority of my time making out and making googley eyes at my significant other. One day you will be in that inner circle, but this year is not that year.

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The Get out of Town Friend– So I live in Los Angeles and an amazingly fun friend of mine lives in San Diego, which is a great party atmosphere to celebrate new beginnings with a hangover after a night of mistakes you won’t want to remember. That being said it will be an amazing time. The only problem is the fact that although San Diego is only a two hour drive, that doesn’t translate in time for California traffic.  With it being a holiday week, this drive could take three hours there and an additional three hours back home. That drive wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t have to keep reminding yourself  to breath when most likely any smell could bring on nausea. This also applies to most other cities because traveling this week of the year makes most people want to poke their eyes out with pencils. This option will be best for the next few years when the holiday doesn’t fall on a goddamn Tuesday ruining everyone’s PTO requests.

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The Single Girls Pack – This would be your best bet in a perfect world because your go to single girls are on the same page as you, most importantly when out on the town and drunkenly twerking. The only problem, they think the same way as you and half way committed to other group activities. Thus, the Single Girls Pack has dispersed to different parts of town for the evening and on top of that, there is no way you can decide which one of their events to go to since you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Better planning for next year, but hey at least the annual Anti-Valentine’s day party is only a few weeks away and by then carbs will be your friend again. Who keeps their New Year’s resolution after January?

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The Work Happy Hour Tribe– This group knows how to party and you like to party with them, but that smooch once the clock strikes midnight can become really really complicated. It goes against your smart rule of “Don’t S*@t where you eat”. And isn’t the New Year about starting fresh with new experiences – not ones you’ll have to relive over and over again every time you run into them in the break room.  Best advice would be to steer clear of this till happy hour on a completely innocent and non-smooch your prince at midnight holiday.

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Well good luck choosing ladies; it’ll be hard, it’ll be spandex and glitter-filled, and it’ll likely end around 12:30am on your couch with left over Chinese food in complete bliss.

XOXO

Valerie

A New Year, A New Me

With the New Year approaching, it is time to re-evaluate and set new goals. Of course I still have the typical lose weight, stay organized and pay off debt, but I have decided to add a few new challenges to my list. These new challenges are not necessarily about re-inventing myself or becoming a new me, because I actually really like who I am. It is more about always trying to be the best person I can be and to not let my life waste away. Although I am only 25-years-old, the craziness of personal triumph and tragedy in 2013 has reminded me that life is short and we must rise to the occasion.

My first challenge is all about creating opportunities. This idea came about after enjoying dinner with a fellow single friend of mine. We were having our normal single girl rant conversations and two rather attractive men came and sat at the table next to us. We quickly realized they were having the same EXACT conversation we were having, with one even mentioning he was still trying to get over a recent break-up. We all continued to awkwardly acknowledge each other with glances across the table. They obviously noticed us and we noticed them. Yet, no one did anything about it. We could have easily started up a conversation and invited them to the next place we were going to have drinks, but we didn’t. The only reason I could think of on why we did that was because we were afraid, completely and utterly afraid of rejection. And this is where the pattern stops. We have to stop being afraid and take advantage of the opportunity, forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone. It is what Neale Donald Walsch said, “Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.”  If I am not going to date online and I have vowed to never date anyone at work (you don’t shit where you eat), than I am going to have to create opportunities and interactions to meet men in LA.

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Another challenge I am making myself do also has to do with my dating life, but more about experimenting on what guys find attractive and who I am while dating. Obviously I am still going to be myself, but I literally have zero dating experience and going on first dates terrifies the crap out of me. With that being said, I am the nice girl and I can only assume that I portray the type of woman who doesn’t seem like a chase to men. This is why I usually am placed in the friend-zone (EliteDaily). So one day, I was googling books on how to attract men and one that I had heard multiple times before kept popping up on the feed. It was “Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship”, and I thought “this is exactly the book for me.” Book purchased, and I have decided after I read each chapter I am going to apply it to my life and write about the difference it has or hasn’t made in my dating life. I know it sounds stupid, but I could use anything to jump-start this dead battery of a dating life.

The year 2014 is looking like a land of possibilities and I am ready to grab it by its balls and run with it…every corny cliché rolled in to one.

XOXO

Valerie

That embarrasing moment when…

Lesson Learned: Never go to the gym with hairy armpits because it might be the day two VERY hot personal trainers ask if you want a personal training session for free. Let me explain. First, it was definitely not one of those free complimentary sessions where they tell you how much you need to buy time with a trainer.

So there I was, running so gracefully (not) on the treadmill as I have been for the past 5 months. I am currently training for a full marathon, which is actually this weekend, making my cardio/running workouts my main priority. So I am on the treadmill, minding my own business, when a very fit man approaches me and asks if I want a personal training session. I am slightly caught off guard, but I explain that I am just here for a run and need to get my training in. He continues to push me by saying their original attendee cancelled and it will be of no cost. My thoughts were okay, what the hell. I could use a little muscle building. In any case, I wonder why they chose me out of all the people here at this packed gym in the heart of West LA. It is either two reasons:

  1. They saw a pretty girl running on the treadmill and they needed an excuse to come talk to me.
  2. They saw a heavier girl running on the treadmill and thought she could use some help.

The jury is out, but I would hope it is thought number one, however I know what I look like while running. It is not necessarily the most attractive thing anyone would see.

Either way, I followed the man to meet the trainer I would be working with. To my shock, I was not working with just one attractive trainer, but two. It was my lucky day. Hard work really does pay off and I was rewarded with a luxury I am too cheap to buy and some eye candy while I am at it. Horror strikes and I realize one tiny detail I forgot about during all the glory and basking in feeling of being the “chosen one.” What was something that was so horrible that would abruptly take me from my happy place? Let’s just say, I am a waxer and I wax everything, including my armpits. The following day was my waxing appointment, and what is worse, I was wearing a tank top. This was awful and poetic justice I suppose, but actually it was just something that WOULD happen to me. I thought maybe we will work on legs since they saw me running. If that happened I wouldn’t have to worry about raising my arms and the slightest possibility of seeing a non-groomed and unkempt version of myself.

But no, that wouldn’t be my luck. They were going to focus my half an hour on…ABS and ARMS. There was plenty of arms being raised. I tried to smooth it out with my charm and charisma, but those traits aren’t always so clear to people and my personality may come off as weird. At this point I will never know. I finished the training session with flaming red cheeks, which were probably from embarrassment and exhaustion. They take my measurements, forcing me to raise my arms again. I crack a few jokes and then the get exactly what they want from me. I buy personal training sessions. It was definitely just a consult and I now will be showing my face to that place at least once a week, but thankfully with another trainer. Lesson learned, I will just now purposely make sure when I see those two dapper men that I wave to them with arms held high.

XOXO

Emma

The Group Method

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So dating online was a bust.  I was on Match.com for about a month and a half and I didn’t go on one date…not one.  I understand that I have to open myself to options and allow myself to experience all different types of people, but in the end it all felt like work. It was emotionally draining to jump on to this Rolodex of men and sift through all of the spam and horn dogs to try and find a decent looking man who knew how to actually write a readable paragraph. It is not that hard to write between 5-8 sentences without a spelling error, but I digress.

So, based on that rant, I clearly couldn’t handle online dating. However, I have found new confidence in the fact that I am only 25, so it is OK to not “settle” for online dating. Right? With this in mind, I am now one of those girls who commits to group activities almost every day of the week. I mean the only way I am going to meet people is if I start putting myself in coed situations that interest me, but good luck in trying to plan a date because my social calendar is jam-packed. Just kidding, if someone wants to take me out, they don’t even need to ask me the question. I will cancel all plans. It has been THAT long.  So, as for the groups I am in:

A Writer’s Workshop: This group is technically killing two birds with one stone. First, I am a creative minded individual and I think the person I may be interested in should also have a slight dose of creativity. It takes a personality trait to understand the idiocies of creative individuals, writers especially. A person who attends a writer’s workshop clearly understands the need for peace and quiet to get work done, as well as has the potential to understand my curse of the scatter brain. But second, I clearly need to carve out a chunk of time in my life to get my writing back up to speed on both this blog and other writing projects I am trying to pursue. The fact that I looked at my blog and the last post had been in July is NO BUENO! Sorry folks!

Church Small Groups: So I am actually in two separate church groups that are actually in two separate areas of Los Angeles. I would like to think of it as my way of extending my radius of meeting potential mates. They also both have two very different demographics of people, specifically men. My faith is actually something very important to me and it is also one of those interests that can make or break a relationship because a person’s faith is something that most people use as a foundation for many aspects of their life.

Dodgeball: Yes, you read that right. I play dodgeball. This actually covers quite a few characteristics I look for in a guy. I am a pretty active individual and it would be great to find someone who loves athletics just as much as I do. You would be surprised; it takes athleticism to play this game. I have also learned it takes quite a bit of endurance, wink wink. If a man plays dodgeball, it also shows that he has the potential to not take things too seriously. I mean we are throwing rubber balls at each other. How is that NOT funny? Also, the fact is, this is a legit competition and a little competitive fire in a man can be very endearing.

So, with that being said, I better have some damn updates for you guys with everything I am involving myself in. If not, there has to be something wrong with the world. Obviously I will never admit to something being wrong with me.

XOXO

Emma