The option to fail in dating is higher due to our unrealistic image of fate and how it is meant to be. The majority of this image comes from movies, TV shows or even magazine articles we read in which we identify these dating “rules” we must follow. I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with these rules because we all need some guidelines and standards to live by in all aspects in life, especially dating. The issue I am having is deciding which “dating” rules I am supposed to follow and which ones are total BS. For instance, if I exchange numbers with a guy, do I need to wait for him to text me first? And if I don’t need to wait, how many days am I supposed to give to balance the “over eager girl” with the “forgotten one” after waiting too long? Or how many dates do we wait to get intimate with a guy? This rule is courtesy of the move Friends with Benefits, one of my all-time favorite RomComs. But can I really trust the rules of having a “cuddle buddy?” There are just so many questions in my head so I decided my quest will only take me to one place…..Google.
Below are some of the most popular dating rules / myths that I found relate to what we see on television and what some articles I found on the internet say about them.
- Don’t have sex on the first date, but be prepared to sleep on the third one.
I personally don’t think there should be a set time limit and it should be about what feels right and what the expectation of the relationship is. However, I do feel that it should always be about how comfortable you are with it and moving at your own pace. According to an article written by Denise Schipani, she agrees, stating “…rules don’t help you figure out the right time to have sex – your own feelings and instincts do.”
- If you are divorced, wait one month for each year you were married before dating.
I find this just ludicrous. People move on in some many different ways. I have never been married, but I can’t see this as being reasonable. What happens to the man or woman who had been married for 20 years?
- The guy always pays.
This one is tough because it comes down to the view the female and male have on a traditional view or a new age view. I am a hopeless romantic and want to be whisked off my feet, and one way to do that is by picking up the check a majority of the time. I am the first to admit that a woman does not need a man, but I do know that in my relationships the money he spends will be a wash because I truly love to spoil my boyfriends.
- The guy needs to call first.
This rule is the one I struggle with the most. Traditionally, a woman waits for the man to call, but now social networking changes everything. They can just go look you up and get a second impression without even a phone call or text. I do not think that a woman can’t call, but I do think woman take rejection harder and I would much rather not receive a call, then putting the effort out there first and not hearing back.
- Online Dating is the last resort and/or only for the updateable.
I would be in this category to think this statement is true, but I am quickly learning that in this day and age it is completely acceptable and almost the best way to meet new people. With our hectic lives, it is hard to meet people, especially in bars in Los Angeles. I have been at this for how many months? I have also seen firsthand the success rate, having friends in their twenties find true love. The stereotype is that they are either a pedophile or loser, but this is all just a generalization. Studies show that one in five dating sites users marry someone they met online and 94% of couples who have developed a relationship online will make it to at least the second date. I find that to be really good odds. This brings me to my next adventure. Along time ago, I came across this website that sends you to a certain bar to meet a compatible companion based on a quiz you took and I always that it was a fantastic idea, especially for LA. This site has now turned in to an online dating site and match-making service rolled in to one, with the working professional in mind. The website is www.ThreeDayRule.com and I am diving head first in to it. And I will make sure to keep you posted.
If you have any other dating rules you want to talk about or have your favorite online dating site or story, please don’t hesitate to post in my comment section.
Until next time….