Single Girl’s New Year’s Eve Struggle

All we want is to get all dressed up, hangout with a good group of friends,  get kissed at midnight by a nice guy who is nice to look at, and bring  in the New Year – Is that too much to ask?

The internal struggle of a single girl trying to decide her New Year’s Eve plans are real and the anxiety is high. As New Year’s Eve approaches we have definitely not committed to anything and must weigh all of our invite options. The final outcome of the night will definitely be a game time decision. We obviously want to be invited to as many events as possible that way we can cover our bases and have different types of events to choose from. However, in the end, the plethora of choices only makes it harder for us single gals, especially because each type of night has their pros and cons:

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Best Wifed-Up Friends– You are always invited to the events by this group of friends and you know you will have a good time because honestly they are your BEST friends. The only problem is you are always the third, fifth, eighth, eleventh wheel – you get the picture. They will never exclude you, but let’s be honest, it is a different vibe on holidays such as New Years. They are romantic and magical and I know if I were them I would probably spend a majority of my time making out and making googley eyes at my significant other. One day you will be in that inner circle, but this year is not that year.

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The Get out of Town Friend– So I live in Los Angeles and an amazingly fun friend of mine lives in San Diego, which is a great party atmosphere to celebrate new beginnings with a hangover after a night of mistakes you won’t want to remember. That being said it will be an amazing time. The only problem is the fact that although San Diego is only a two hour drive, that doesn’t translate in time for California traffic.  With it being a holiday week, this drive could take three hours there and an additional three hours back home. That drive wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t have to keep reminding yourself  to breath when most likely any smell could bring on nausea. This also applies to most other cities because traveling this week of the year makes most people want to poke their eyes out with pencils. This option will be best for the next few years when the holiday doesn’t fall on a goddamn Tuesday ruining everyone’s PTO requests.

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The Single Girls Pack – This would be your best bet in a perfect world because your go to single girls are on the same page as you, most importantly when out on the town and drunkenly twerking. The only problem, they think the same way as you and half way committed to other group activities. Thus, the Single Girls Pack has dispersed to different parts of town for the evening and on top of that, there is no way you can decide which one of their events to go to since you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Better planning for next year, but hey at least the annual Anti-Valentine’s day party is only a few weeks away and by then carbs will be your friend again. Who keeps their New Year’s resolution after January?

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The Work Happy Hour Tribe– This group knows how to party and you like to party with them, but that smooch once the clock strikes midnight can become really really complicated. It goes against your smart rule of “Don’t S*@t where you eat”. And isn’t the New Year about starting fresh with new experiences – not ones you’ll have to relive over and over again every time you run into them in the break room.  Best advice would be to steer clear of this till happy hour on a completely innocent and non-smooch your prince at midnight holiday.

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Well good luck choosing ladies; it’ll be hard, it’ll be spandex and glitter-filled, and it’ll likely end around 12:30am on your couch with left over Chinese food in complete bliss.

XOXO

Valerie

A New Year, A New Me

With the New Year approaching, it is time to re-evaluate and set new goals. Of course I still have the typical lose weight, stay organized and pay off debt, but I have decided to add a few new challenges to my list. These new challenges are not necessarily about re-inventing myself or becoming a new me, because I actually really like who I am. It is more about always trying to be the best person I can be and to not let my life waste away. Although I am only 25-years-old, the craziness of personal triumph and tragedy in 2013 has reminded me that life is short and we must rise to the occasion.

My first challenge is all about creating opportunities. This idea came about after enjoying dinner with a fellow single friend of mine. We were having our normal single girl rant conversations and two rather attractive men came and sat at the table next to us. We quickly realized they were having the same EXACT conversation we were having, with one even mentioning he was still trying to get over a recent break-up. We all continued to awkwardly acknowledge each other with glances across the table. They obviously noticed us and we noticed them. Yet, no one did anything about it. We could have easily started up a conversation and invited them to the next place we were going to have drinks, but we didn’t. The only reason I could think of on why we did that was because we were afraid, completely and utterly afraid of rejection. And this is where the pattern stops. We have to stop being afraid and take advantage of the opportunity, forcing myself to get out of my comfort zone. It is what Neale Donald Walsch said, “Life begins at the edge of your comfort zone.”  If I am not going to date online and I have vowed to never date anyone at work (you don’t shit where you eat), than I am going to have to create opportunities and interactions to meet men in LA.

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Another challenge I am making myself do also has to do with my dating life, but more about experimenting on what guys find attractive and who I am while dating. Obviously I am still going to be myself, but I literally have zero dating experience and going on first dates terrifies the crap out of me. With that being said, I am the nice girl and I can only assume that I portray the type of woman who doesn’t seem like a chase to men. This is why I usually am placed in the friend-zone (EliteDaily). So one day, I was googling books on how to attract men and one that I had heard multiple times before kept popping up on the feed. It was “Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship”, and I thought “this is exactly the book for me.” Book purchased, and I have decided after I read each chapter I am going to apply it to my life and write about the difference it has or hasn’t made in my dating life. I know it sounds stupid, but I could use anything to jump-start this dead battery of a dating life.

The year 2014 is looking like a land of possibilities and I am ready to grab it by its balls and run with it…every corny cliché rolled in to one.

XOXO

Valerie