One Dating Cliche you should NOT Listen to

You know that saying “if you stop looking for love it will find you”? In my personal opinion, this one statement is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. If you believe this, you should probably throw away the extensive library of self-help books you own. There is no way a human you desire to date is just going to fall in your lap. If you are extremely lucky and timing is on your side you may be part of the 5% that happens to actually bump in to a stranger and have a happily ever after. But, for the rest of us, it is intentional life decisions regarding who, what and where we are that may result in meeting the man or woman of our dreams.

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First, it is physically impossible to not-look at someone you are attracted to and not think of them as date-able or imagine a relationship with them. When I am out with friends, if we see an attractive man approaching, the first thing we discuss is whether or not that individual is our type. It is against human nature to not look for love or a mate.

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If people stopped looking for love then there wouldn’t be OkCupid, Tinder, Match.com, eHarmony apps and websites. There also wouldn’t be Matchmaking services, Speed Dating or the newest addition to the dating world Grouper. According to a report released by Marketdata Enterprises, the dating services industry is worth more the 2.14 BILLION dollars. Logistically, if someone were to stop searching for their soul mate, someone else will find them because everyone else will be spending the time and money to sift through the available individuals.

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If you like Tinder, swipe away. If eHarmony is more your style, leave it to the quizzes. The ability to meet new people, both romantically and for friendship, is the hardest it has ever been due to technology, traffic and our tough economy. So the next time you feel guilty for trying one of these ways to meet your match, don’t. It is more important to be self-aware of you your situation and to not become obsessed with finding someone. Everyone deserves to love and to be loved. So….seek and you shall find.

its out there

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Single Girl’s New Year’s Eve Struggle

All we want is to get all dressed up, hangout with a good group of friends,  get kissed at midnight by a nice guy who is nice to look at, and bring  in the New Year – Is that too much to ask?

The internal struggle of a single girl trying to decide her New Year’s Eve plans are real and the anxiety is high. As New Year’s Eve approaches we have definitely not committed to anything and must weigh all of our invite options. The final outcome of the night will definitely be a game time decision. We obviously want to be invited to as many events as possible that way we can cover our bases and have different types of events to choose from. However, in the end, the plethora of choices only makes it harder for us single gals, especially because each type of night has their pros and cons:

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Best Wifed-Up Friends– You are always invited to the events by this group of friends and you know you will have a good time because honestly they are your BEST friends. The only problem is you are always the third, fifth, eighth, eleventh wheel – you get the picture. They will never exclude you, but let’s be honest, it is a different vibe on holidays such as New Years. They are romantic and magical and I know if I were them I would probably spend a majority of my time making out and making googley eyes at my significant other. One day you will be in that inner circle, but this year is not that year.

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The Get out of Town Friend– So I live in Los Angeles and an amazingly fun friend of mine lives in San Diego, which is a great party atmosphere to celebrate new beginnings with a hangover after a night of mistakes you won’t want to remember. That being said it will be an amazing time. The only problem is the fact that although San Diego is only a two hour drive, that doesn’t translate in time for California traffic.  With it being a holiday week, this drive could take three hours there and an additional three hours back home. That drive wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t have to keep reminding yourself  to breath when most likely any smell could bring on nausea. This also applies to most other cities because traveling this week of the year makes most people want to poke their eyes out with pencils. This option will be best for the next few years when the holiday doesn’t fall on a goddamn Tuesday ruining everyone’s PTO requests.

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The Single Girls Pack – This would be your best bet in a perfect world because your go to single girls are on the same page as you, most importantly when out on the town and drunkenly twerking. The only problem, they think the same way as you and half way committed to other group activities. Thus, the Single Girls Pack has dispersed to different parts of town for the evening and on top of that, there is no way you can decide which one of their events to go to since you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Better planning for next year, but hey at least the annual Anti-Valentine’s day party is only a few weeks away and by then carbs will be your friend again. Who keeps their New Year’s resolution after January?

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The Work Happy Hour Tribe– This group knows how to party and you like to party with them, but that smooch once the clock strikes midnight can become really really complicated. It goes against your smart rule of “Don’t S*@t where you eat”. And isn’t the New Year about starting fresh with new experiences – not ones you’ll have to relive over and over again every time you run into them in the break room.  Best advice would be to steer clear of this till happy hour on a completely innocent and non-smooch your prince at midnight holiday.

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Well good luck choosing ladies; it’ll be hard, it’ll be spandex and glitter-filled, and it’ll likely end around 12:30am on your couch with left over Chinese food in complete bliss.

XOXO

Valerie