You know that saying “if you stop looking for love it will find you”? In my personal opinion, this one statement is the biggest load of crap I have ever heard. If you believe this, you should probably throw away the extensive library of self-help books you own. There is no way a human you desire to date is just going to fall in your lap. If you are extremely lucky and timing is on your side you may be part of the 5% that happens to actually bump in to a stranger and have a happily ever after. But, for the rest of us, it is intentional life decisions regarding who, what and where we are that may result in meeting the man or woman of our dreams.
First, it is physically impossible to not-look at someone you are attracted to and not think of them as date-able or imagine a relationship with them. When I am out with friends, if we see an attractive man approaching, the first thing we discuss is whether or not that individual is our type. It is against human nature to not look for love or a mate.
If people stopped looking for love then there wouldn’t be OkCupid, Tinder, Match.com, eHarmony apps and websites. There also wouldn’t be Matchmaking services, Speed Dating or the newest addition to the dating world Grouper. According to a report released by Marketdata Enterprises, the dating services industry is worth more the 2.14 BILLION dollars. Logistically, if someone were to stop searching for their soul mate, someone else will find them because everyone else will be spending the time and money to sift through the available individuals.
If you like Tinder, swipe away. If eHarmony is more your style, leave it to the quizzes. The ability to meet new people, both romantically and for friendship, is the hardest it has ever been due to technology, traffic and our tough economy. So the next time you feel guilty for trying one of these ways to meet your match, don’t. It is more important to be self-aware of you your situation and to not become obsessed with finding someone. Everyone deserves to love and to be loved. So….seek and you shall find.
Five minutes. Can you feel a connection with someone in five minutes? Speed dating, originally created by a Jewish Rabbi from Beverly Hills in 1998, which uses this logic for singles to meet. I decided to test this theory since I vowed to try any kind of dating experience.
First, I must tell you that Groupon has apparently begun to influence my dating life. I saw a Groupon for a National Speed Dating company, whom had a home base near where I worked. I bought two discounts, hoping I could talk one of my good friends in to going with me. Of course I couldn’t go by myself with one of these things. The only knowledge I had of Speed Dating is what I have seen on Sex and The City and 40-year-old Virgin. If only that is what it was really like. It is a good thing I bought these coupons, because I definitely would not have been happy to pay $50 dollars to attend one of these things that didn’t even include a complimentary drink.
Obviously, first impressions are significant in any kind of relationship, with the ability to make or break it. Speed Dating is just that; a first impression. Unfortunately, the first impression didn’t go to well for my friend or me. I can humbly say that we were the best looking people in the room. I know I am sounding totally stuck up, but I do believe physical attraction is necessary and there was none of that going on. The demographic was also predominately Asian, which is not necessarily the type I am attracted to. However, I am not the type of person to give up or not give chances. Of course impressions can and should change once you meet somebody, but the night just got perpetually worse. The room was HOT the entire time and we did not find out there was water in the room until we were two hours in; yes this was a 3 and a half hour event on a work night! Not only were the conditions uncomfortable, but it felt like I was on a job interview with 22 men. My friend and I ended up trying to make fun of the situation by asking really random and odd questions, which helped the night pass by quicker.
At the end of the evening, we used our “score cards” to write down the people we are interested and if they choose us as well, than the company sends the opposites information to you. I decided to only write two guys down whom I had the best conversations. We would find out if we were chosen the next day via email. As my inbox on my phone vibrated, I began to read the email the Speed Dating company sent me. I didn’t have ANY matches! I was perfectly ok with it, but there still was this feeling of why?
The movies definitely make it seem like Speed Dating is an exciting experience. I faced another harsh realization that movies and shows are just a fantasy.
If you decide to still attend one of these events, definitely wait until a Groupon deal strikes!
Until next time……